I am my own saviour

I’ll hold myself together

Each thread of my skin sewn into the fibre of my bone
I’ll hold myself together

Fist tightened, head held high
I’ll hold myself together

A mess of thread, skin, fibre and bone
I’ll hold myself together

Even if I have to keep on holding alone.


The spoken word on our beautiful generation

Do i feel strongly,
About anything?
Nothing, nothing nothing
Not even strongly about this word
Repeating, singing repeating
for the sake of a cause I can no longer remember,
No longer care about anything but December
Why? Why?
It’s my birthday, that’s why?
Am i arrogant, selfish, conceited, like a teenage girl
Don’t care again, again
This I ask eveytime
You ask me anything
I have embraced the modern pop culture
Of not caring, of not giving a damn
Of not giving any fucks, of ain’t having no jam
Don’t care, did I say it already?
Well who cares?
Apparently no one
We’re a mass movement of anarchy
Of lost history and geography
born from fear, capitalism and a state of democracy
Is it democracy?
The lines are all blurring,
even my speech is s l u r r i n g
What an excellent way to show
I don’t care,
I dont care
I’ll be on my way
Going along a road, that has been well formed by the million footsteps that preceded me.
The long road not taken is
overrated, overrated
Hop on this bandwagon
We’re all sheeps of the same fleece
Raze us, graze us
We eat the same weeds, the same grass
Fiber, moral fiber. what is that?
We understand money,
Bitcoins, dollars and cash,
blank cheques and pots of gold,
There’s nothing here
the soul long sold
Don’t care, don’t care
empty flesh, empty heart
This is our end, and this is our start
We’re walled minds for humanity’s sake
We roll, smoke, snort and bake
Rotting skin and pink entrails
daddy’s dying in metal jail
Who cares?
None of us do,
We’re the blossoming generation
of a dying world.

You’re Heaven to me

You’re heaven to me
How the hell do you not understand
That even as I’m crumbling inside
all I want to do is hold your hand

And even as the last of my breaths
Leave my chest tonight
All I’m praying for
Is for us to be alright

And even as I lose all hope
Battered and bruised I lie
You’re my reason to live
And you’ll be my reason die

You’re heaven to me
All I want to do is hold your hand
Yet you accuse me of being cold
How the hell do you not understand

It’s not you, it’s me


I realise it even as your skin is against mine,
And your lips leaving fiery trails on mine,
And your fingertips raking my scalp,
And your legs wound around my waist,
You aren’t here,
Your soul is miles apart,
And it has been so for such a long time that I’ve forgotten,
What it is like to make love to you,
Not just with your body and lust,
But with your soul and love too.

–  //Soul and love too//

We are dancing together,
Your mouth is smiling at me,
But your eyes are laughing,
Only not just at something I said,
You’re remembering a golden moment,
One like what we once used to share,
But now all we share are vacant looks, tired sighs and little white lies,
So you’ve found your golden moments elsewhere,
And left me here all alone,
To see a smile that smiles for me,
But not truly,
And eyes that laugh truly,
But not for me.

– //eyes that laugh a real laugh but smiles that smile all sad//

I feel it as you stand besides me,
In the kitchen as we cook,
And its just another chore for you,
A ritual you must perform,
To keep the facade that our lives have slowly turned into,
And no longer is it,
What it once was,
Secret smiles shared over slices of tomatoes,
kisses stolen over sprinkling of spices,
Groping hands between stirring the soup,
And bursts of excitement as we served each other.

– //the kitchen is just another place to be//

it’s not you it’s me
I say the words that should have been spoken
A long time ago
When I knew that you knew that I did
But we were scared
Me of never finding love again
And you of breaking my heart
But I wish we had done this a long time ago
Because now my heart’s no longer broken
It’s just there
A muscle for pumping blood
Incapable of little else
And I hear it beat beneath my chest
And I wonder even in my certainty if it’s the right thing I’ve done
But then I see you
And you’re not heartbroken
Just glad that I spared myself the suffering
And I smile
Because we may not remain friends after this
But you’ve never wished me bad.

– //it’s not you it’s me//



I’m living a good life, I’m just not sure if it’s the best kind…
And I’m wearing expensive clothes and clicking selfies for my thousand followers on my iphone and I’m carrying an expensive bag to party at a high end club
And I’m drinking vintage wine and imported liquor and smoking gold cigars.
I’m just not sure if that’s all I want from my life.
Maybe all I want is lazy days and wearing clothes that make me feel good about myself and drink coffee and lookout into the ocean.
Maybe all I want is to listen to lana del ray and watch the autumn leaves fall from the trees and hear the wind howl mingled with the sounds of the birds and read book sitting by the fireplace and hear stories my grandma tells me and laugh at silly things and dance at the beat and sing to my heart’s content and kiss a boy who kisses me back with the same feeling and talk with my best friend and smile at strangers and compliment other girls and enjoy school and learn new things and have long picnics.
But somewhere between providing for ourselves and living a luxurious life, we got enamoured by materialistic pleasures and gave more importance to clothes and makeup and gossip and mindless competition and forgot that the the most precious things in life are the simplest of them.

Loved too much


Wrapped in parcels of paper
Tied with a thread
Letters just collect dust
I keep you in my heart instead

The syllables in your names
My lips won’t feel
Forbidden these moments
Are all I can steal

Call me a thief
But call me not a liar
I may’ve stolen these moments
But they’re all I’ve ever had, sire

In adorning silver ink
Your name I’ve written
How I wish this weren’t love
How I wish I were just smitten

But my soul steadily unravels
Under your silken touch
And I fear my heart shall break
For I’ve loved too much.